bulimic rainbows

blinkgrl182137@hotmail.com — Fri, 19 Jan 2007 08:09:51 GMT

an indescribable look of complete loss
self destruction urks through to the surface
and now a wear it like a fucking flag

i've begun to wonder if upon reaching a certain point in your life when maybe you've discovered the truth of reality just a little too much is there a point of no return
is there too much truth to ever let me feel the complete bliss and happiness i once did, could i ever feel it completely ever again once past this point, does this point exist, am i in a rut, if this point does infact exist am i that unfortunate to have crossed it so young

blinkgrl182137@hotmail.com — Tue, 19 Dec 2006 04:49:48 GMT

i need a haircut, now.

i bought doug is xmas presents today and i really hope he likes them

i miss baltimore like no other and i've only been home for like 3 days

blinkgrl182137@hotmail.com — Mon, 20 Nov 2006 19:52:26 GMT

my day so far

830 am

drawing board in one hand cigarette in the other, still cracked out on nyquil from the night prior i stumble to class, cracked out my head swirls with agony but finds an inner peace for a moment and then slaps me in the ass pushing me off the cloud

blinkgrl182137@hotmail.com — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 09:07:51 GMT

blinkgrl182137@hotmail.com — Mon, 11 Sep 2006 04:23:09 GMT

i am both the insect under the boot and the boot over the insect anxiously waiting to make my move

blinkgrl182137@hotmail.com — Sun, 10 Sep 2006 06:16:01 GMT

fate?

blinkgrl182137@hotmail.com — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 03:50:02 GMT

i leave tomarrow at 10 am, its almost hard to believe

i want it so bad

blinkgrl182137@hotmail.com — Tue, 08 Aug 2006 14:14:06 GMT

i want to defy fate for even just today

blinkgrl182137@hotmail.com — Sat, 29 Jul 2006 05:27:35 GMT

i'm turning into an insomniac mess, i have to work in a few hours and i cant sleep

blinkgrl182137@hotmail.com — Sun, 16 Jul 2006 18:04:38 GMT

i quit my job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

finally!

blinkgrl182137@hotmail.com — Sun, 28 May 2006 03:48:18 GMT

lack of sleep

"you look like death today"

i am death

theres so much to say, theres so much going on and i cant spill a single drop

its too early for the rain

i'm sick of this box

blinkgrl182137@hotmail.com — Fri, 19 May 2006 02:51:29 GMT

livejournal is dead, my thoughts only occasionally hit the press, where are yours? the same place? a pile of crumpled note to self post-its that did'nt make it here for your viewing pleasure

its seemingly pointless, no one can save you but yourself

its time to reorganize myself

i am an emotional zombie, a psychological vampire seeking out anything to suck life from

three and a quarter months

blinkgrl182137@hotmail.com — Mon, 17 Apr 2006 03:34:07 GMT

through all of the debate and advice and dwelling (thank you to everyone who listened to me babble) i've decided i really just need to go to maryland

baltimore is going to provide me with more than i can even fathom right now

what is really scary is like the first month everything is new, the people, the places, i wont know anyone or where anything is, i wont know where i can buy cigarettes, ect. i cant help but think of all this little shit

alone in an environment of unlimited potential

it seems like i'm just running, but i honestly believe this is the best thing i can do for myself as far as creating a future and further developing my art

my heart is here and leaving it unattended is an unbearable thought

i love you

ps
i want stories, tell me what it was like for you

blinkgrl182137@hotmail.com — Thu, 13 Apr 2006 00:51:39 GMT

i have a dilemma that wont let me sleep or function

by may 1st i have to decide if i'm leaving for maryland art school for 4 years or staying here at pratt in utica for 2 years then going to maryland for 2 years

HELP

this tick tock tick tock waste of time, this thump thump thump heartbeat barely to exist

blinkgrl182137@hotmail.com — Tue, 04 Apr 2006 03:35:19 GMT

is this pushing ignorance away or indulgeing in it
in this battle
she is a powerless dragon
with no flame
she exhales smoke out her mouth and nostrols
in protest

i've never felt my insides ignight as intensly out of fear and built up rage as they were

fiction is fact

and for 9 months i knew something

that "god" himself does not except

but who am i to say, i was never religious
fiction is fact

blinkgrl182137@hotmail.com — Sun, 19 Feb 2006 17:13:07 GMT

i got accepted to sait rose, too bad i didnt like it there

sid plus nancy

blinkgrl182137@hotmail.com — Mon, 09 Jan 2006 19:50:22 GMT

blinkgrl182137@hotmail.com — Fri, 02 Dec 2005 17:01:44 GMT

Recently:

Remember?

blinkgrl182137@hotmail.com — Mon, 28 Nov 2005 18:51:13 GMT

a couple days ago i got a letter from pratt offering me an estimated 7 thousand $ scholarship based on my portfolio alone. The exact amount will be determined when they recieve my transcript.

that quite honestly makes me feel like gold

i have a delema, its my senior year, i'm careing less and less about this high school shit each day, my first semester report card this year was my worst.. ever.. i've finally run out of ambition for this rutine, i see more and more how pointless alot of it all is, how much time i'm wasteing, how much i want to just imerse myself in art and focus there

but in order to do that i have to get through 3 more quaters of highschool

..fucking shit..

blinkgrl182137@hotmail.com — Sun, 13 Nov 2005 04:32:31 GMT

today was one of the best days ever, pratt LOVED my portfolio and accepted me on that basis, i just have to send in the formal application with my gpa and sat scores and such and if that goes okay i'm in!

blinkgrl182137@hotmail.com — Wed, 02 Nov 2005 02:46:31 GMT

today i spent some time with myself and it felt really good,i had forgotten the freedom and much needed space from everything, i bought a pair of jeans and an amazing gray blazer, then i went to barnes and noble and looked at tattoo magazines, i plan on getting one.. on my 18th bday... however i really don't know what i want so it might wait

around this time, more toward xmas i was in a pretty crappy situation but for whatever reason the vibe of last year, the extremety of it is just screaming at me and god is it an amazing nostalgic feeling

albany sat, nyc monday

i dont want to do this college visit bullshit

blinkgrl182137@hotmail.com — Thu, 20 Oct 2005 16:38:15 GMT

its really scarry to read back, how could i feel those things and why, what if the things i feel now become those things i'll read about in later months or years and just wonder what the fuck i was thinking

blinkgrl182137@hotmail.com — Thu, 25 Aug 2005 03:41:52 GMT

when given love you have to trust it
sometimes letting go of your fears is all it takes

blinkgrl182137@hotmail.com — Sat, 13 Aug 2005 03:08:19 GMT

my craving isnt fadeing
this cigarettes a tease
i have this addiction
that only you have learned to please

blinkgrl182137@hotmail.com — Mon, 01 Aug 2005 21:57:12 GMT

everyone go to www.myspace.com/runmyprettyxrun and listen!!!!!!!

were still new to the recording thing so its not the best recording but wait till we play live!